strip you down, see you from the inside out
by BittersweetSonata
Summary: Tell me, when did your heart go missing? —natsu/lucy


**notes:** what is this? just the choppiest story you ever did see. titles longer than the actual summary make me laugh.

**pairing: **natsu ო lucy**  
disclaimer: **own nothing

—

_it's alarming, honestly, how charming she can be_

_fooling everyone, telling folks she's having fun_

.

.

.

.

The first time they meet, he is eight and she is just a year younger. Some of her pretty golden hair is pulled up into a side ponytail and the rest falls loosely onto her shoulders. Her pastel pink dress flutters behind her in the summer breeze, and her smile is the brightest thing he's ever seen.

She's like the sunshine, or at least that's what his eight-year-old mind registers as she sneaks a glance at him.

The boardwalk is full of people pushing, shoving, and laughing, but he keeps his eyes on her. She's holding her mother's hand, and they're waiting in line for ice cream. Next to her mother, a blond man towers over them, smiling down at the two.

She glances over at him again, smile wavering, and then stands on her tiptoes and beckons the blonde woman who looks just like her to come closer. She leans down, and the girl whispers something into her ear, cheeks tinted with splotches of pink. A wide smile spreads over the older woman's face, and she mumbles something to the blond man pulling out his wallet.

He looks away for a just a second, and when he turns around she's gone. He's disappointed that he didn't get to speak with her, or even learn her name, but then an ice cream cone is thrust in his face. He stumbles backward, and struggles to catch it before it splatters all over the wooden boards under his feet.

The blonde girl smiles shyly at him, holding a cream-filled cone of her own. "You like chocolate, right? Everybody loves chocolate, don't they?"

Her voice is just as pretty as she is, and her eyes are the same color as the melting treat in his hand. He decides that, yes—he loves chocolate very much.

"Hey—quick! Lick your ice cream! You don't want to get sticky, do you?" she points at the cream dripping down the side, and he grins before cleaning the spill up.

"Thanks." he offers, and she waves a hand and takes a seat next to him on the bench.

She starts to giggle, suddenly, and he looks at her in confusion. She points to the scoops in her cone, and then to the top of his head. "My ice cream is the same color as your hair! It's pink!"

He scoffs and scowls down at his cone. "It's _salmon_…_duh_."

"Well it looks pretty pink to me."

"It's _not._"

She looks up at him through thick golden-brown lashes. "Okay, if you say so. Y'know, you looked lonely sitting here all by yourself. Where're your parents?"

He blinks and rubs the back of his head. "My dad he…went to get hotdogs for us. He told me to stay right behind him—'cause I'm too big to hold hands," he lifts his chin, "but we got separated. So I'm all by myself…"

"That's awful!" she exclaims, and the top scoop of her ice cream almost slides off. "We should go look for him!"

He watches as she pumps her small fist into the air and stands, cheeks blown out and fire in her eyes. "C'mon—don't you wanna find your dad? Let's make it a game!"

He flashes her a wide grin and then they're off—winding through the crowds, hand in hand.

And Natsu Dragneel falls in love at the age of eight.

"Aren't you hot?"

He looks up from the crab winding its way through the sand and at the shorter girl standing over him. "What?"

"Your scarf," she points to the white fabric wrapped securely around his neck, "it's the middle of summer and you're wearing a scarf. Doesn't it make you too warm?"

Natsu shrugs. "I don't know. It doesn't bother me. 'Sides, it's a gift from my dad, so…"

She smiles sheepishly and looks up at the sunset. It's a mural of vermillion, fading sunshine, violet, and tangerines, and she laughs. The sound is like tinkling bells and it makes him feel all funny inside.

"Summer sunsets at the beach are the best." she comments, before dropping into the sand next to him. Her smile turns sad and she looks down at her lap. "I'm sorry we didn't find your dad. I think I just got us lost instead."

He decides then and there that sadness isn't a good look on her. "Hey! Don't worry about it! He's the one that's lost anyway! After all, _we _know where we are."

She glances up at him in surprise, and smiles. "Then…does that mean my mama and papa are lost too?"

Natsu nods sagely. "Yup."

"Grownups aren't very good with directions, are they?"

"Guess not."

She spares a sideways glance at their sandals which are scattered a few feet away, and looks back up at him. "I had fun today. Can we be friends?"

He grins. "Of course!"

"LUCY!"

"NATSU!"

Their parents come rushing down the beach and toward them, several policemen and dogs in tow. They glance up to see several flashing lights near the far-off parking lot, and then they're caught up in hugs and 'I thought I'd lost yous.'

They part with a wave and a smile.

And that's the last time they meet for years.

.

.

.

He's thirteen when he sees her again, and she's even prettier than he remembers.

"Don't I know you?" she tucks a few stray blonde locks behind her ear and smiles at him. "It's not like I could forget that pink hair of yours, after all."

He grins. "Lucy!"

There's something different about her this time, though. Her white sundress looks a bit worn, and her sunshine hair is flowing freely behind her. She's barefoot, and when she walks he swears he sees an ugly bruise on her leg—just out of sight.

Her eyes are different too, not as bright and happy as they were before.

He wonders.

"C'mon let's go and play!" she beckons, voice chipper and without a hint of 'something's wrong.'

So he ditches Gray and Gajeel and follows her off of the boardwalk and down onto the beach. They search for seashells and pearls inside of oysters, and run through the waves crashing against the sand. Near the end of the afternoon, he buys them both ice cream, and they sit under the boardwalk and watch the sunset.

"Strawberry's such a sad flavor, isn't it?"

Her voice breaks the comfortable silence, and he looks at her in surprise.

There's a gleam of something in her eyes—something he doesn't like and that definitely shouldn't be there.

"Nobody ever wants to eat it, after all." she continues, russet orbs still fixed on the pink cream in her cone. "And it's always the flavor that gets left behind."

She looks up at him, eyes wide and overflowing with _something, something, something. _"It makes me feel kind of sad."

"I like strawberry!" he blurts, in an attempt to cheer her up. "It's important!"

Lucy smiles, and the world starts spinning again.

"You'll come here again, right? I'll wait for you." she draws an 'x' over her heart with her finger. "Cross my heart and hope to die."

Natsu gives her a half-smile. "Stick a needle in my eye."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

.

.

.

He kisses her on the last day of summer.

Her mother is dead and her father cares more about his failing business empire than his only daughter, and her whole is falling apart and collapsing around her. She spends most of her time with him at the boardwalk, and only goes home at night. He doesn't need to know about the bruises and the cuts, she concludes.

What he doesn't know won't—_can't_—hurt him.

So she smiles and bottles everything up inside—the pain, the screams, the tears, _don't hurt me, I won't do it again I promise, please leave me alone, stay away_—and pretends that part of her doesn't exist.

She doesn't know that Natsu can see right through her.

"What happened to your eye, Luce?"

She touches the bruised spot carefully, then smiles and laughs. "Oh this? I ran into a post. Can you believe how clumsy I am? Stupid, right?"

Later he goes home and punches a hole in his bedroom wall.

But right then, he reaches out and pulls her closer. Then he kisses her.

She tastes like dying sunshine, salty tears, and strawberry ice cream.

.

.

.

After that, Lucy disappears.

.

.

.

He is eighteen and freed from his burden of schoolwork—at least for the summer, and then it's off to college. Gray and Gajeel take him out to celebrate. He chooses the boardwalk down by the beachfront.

Maybe it's the nostalgia, or the sound of laughing children and waves crashing against the white sand, or maybe it's because he doesn't see _her _there, but his heart feels heavy.

"We're getting ice cream. You want something, moron?" Gray questions, idly spinning his key ring around his index finger.

"Strawberry." Natsu answers, almost automatically.

His longtime friend raises a dark brow, but shrugs and heads off. "Whatever. Be back in a few."

Natsu collapses on a bench and lets his head fall into his hands. It's been four years, and no word of anything about her. Her father's railway empire had long since fallen by the wayside, and anything related to her family was old news.

Nothing had even been said about her, or her disappearance.

It was like she hadn't even existed.

The sound of laughter caught his attention, and he raised his head. Farther down the old wooden planks some kids were gathered around a figure. He stands and decides to trek over and see what the big deal is.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he remembers his younger sister telling him stories about a girl down at the boardwalk who was apparently, a popular figure among the children. Ghost stories, he'd concluded, but Wendy wasn't one to lie.

She'd seen her herself.

"What is it? It looks so pretty!"

"Look, look! She can hold them in her hands!"

Natsu raises a brow at the little girls' chatter as he nears, and watches as some equally eager boys try to crowd in closer.

"Hey now, be patient. You'll all get a turn."

He stops, mind almost shutting down at the more mature voice filled with patience, kindness, and familiarity. It's a little different from last time, but it's still the same.

In the middle of the small mob of children, there's a girl—all blonde hair, sunshine smiles, bright chocolate eyes, and beautiful laughter—and he recognizes her. She's older, curvier, taller, but she still wears the same sundresses and her feet are still bare.

He watches as she opens her hands, and reveals her hidden treasure—butterflies. Her action earns several gasps from the eager children surrounding her, and her eyes dance as she beckons one closer.

"Asuka, here."

She places one in the small girl's hands, and the crowd falls silent.

"Be careful, now. If you touch its wings, it won't be able to fly again."

The little girl looks up, eyes wide and horrified. "Why?!"

"Because," the young woman glances down at the remaining creatures in her hands, "butterflies are magic. It's all in their wings—see? If you rub that magic off, then they won't be able to use it to fly, would they?"

Her smile softens, and she looks back up at the girl. "I promise I won't touch your wings! It would be terrible not to fly!"

"Okay, who's next? Who wants to hold a butterfly?"

Natsu takes a step forward. "I do. I want to one."

Lucy glances up, and her smile falls. Her eyes widen, and the words on the tip of her tongue die and fade away.

"I want to be able to hold a butterfly without stealing its magic." Natsu continues. "Won't you teach me…Luce?"

"N…atsu?"

.

.

.

"I ran away."

He doesn't take his eyes off of her. "Why?"

"Nobody cared."

"I did."

"Nobody except you."

.

.

.

"Where do you go, Lucy? Is it somewhere I can follow?"

She smiles a broken smile and looks at him with dead eyes.

"You wouldn't want to."

.

.

.

He sees her one night, walking up the boardwalk. She's wearing shoes this time—expensive-looking red pump paired with a wicked red dress.

She smiles at someone he can't see, but a hand reaches out from the shadows and pulls her in. His curiosity gets the best of him.

What he sees next is enough to make him vomit.

And he finds out, the boardwalk by the beach is so much different at night.

The air is stained with cigarette smoke, needle pricks, bruises, scratches, and unanswered screams. The sun doesn't shine down there, and the people who venture out are not the type of people who should be in a place like it.

And Lucy is caught up in the middle of all of it.

.

.

.

"Can you tie a knot with a cherry stem, Lucy?"

The blonde smiles, eyes sparkling.

Natsu watches as she lives a lie.

"Sure I can! Watch!"

She pops a ripe red cherry into her mouth, stem and all. She chews for a moment, then, smiles in triumph and pulls out the stem, with a perfect knot in the middle.

"Cool!"

When the children aren't looking, her smile fades away, and she swallows back tears.

.

.

.

"How do I save you, Luce?"

He breathes against her bare neck, and runs his fingers through her hair. Lucy's grip on the back of his shirt tightens and she chokes.

"Can you? Am I really worth saving?"

He presses his lips to hers, and feels her relax against him.

"I'm not going to stop trying." he answers roughly. "I'm never going to stop trying."

She places her hand on his cheek, and brushes some of his salmon locks out of his eyes. "I love you, you know that right? Just you. Only you."

"I know." he grinds out. "Come on, run away with me."

She smiles at him. "Where would we go?"

"Anywhere."

She places her hand in his. "Let's do it then. We can make it a game."

—

_fin_


End file.
